photo credit: Artwerk
Several years ago, as you may remember, there was a terrible crime committed in a small Amish community. In an austere town, where there was little if any crime, the children were at school learning and playing with their peers. They had few worries or concerns that day as their teacher lovingly poured her knowledge into them. This day would be different though. Just as quick as turning off a light, a man walks into that class room and randomly shoots and kills the teacher and several of her students, shedding their innocent blood!
After the horrific murders the little town was shocked from the National media attention. I can remember, like it was yesterday, the unbelievable but powerful statement from one of the mothers after finding out that one of the children murdered was her beautiful blond haired, blue-eyed baby girl. The reporter asked her, “if you knew the murderer was listening or you could speak to him face-to-face what would you say to him”? The mother replied without hesitation, “I forgive you!” Obviously the reporter and most everyone who heard that comment was taken-back by it.
Several days later I was traveling home and the Amish murder and that mother’s statement was still the hot topic of debate. The station I was listening to had put together a panel of “experts” discussing whether this mother really had the ability to forgive this man, was she possibly still in shock, or can you give forgiveness to someone who is not ready to receive it. One of the “experts” of this round table made the profound statement, “you cannot forgive somone unless they are willing, ready and able to receive the forgiveness.” That sounded like a reasonable answer to most that heard it that day but it is completely innaccurate per God’s Word which, I believe, is without error and is unfailing!
You see, we must understand unforgiveness and forgiveness from God’s perspective. The Bible says, “forgive and you will be forgiven, forgive not neither will you be forgiven.” This is not a suggestion from the Lord but rather a command to His people. I can hear some of you, just like me years ago, saying, “that is not fair”! Was it fair when Christ who was sinless took our place on The Cross and allowed our sins and guilt to come upon Himself? The answer is unequivically, NO! But the most powerful words spoken from my Saviors lips, as he hung from the cross while His innocent blood drained from his shreadded body was, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”
The Lord showed and proved to me years ago that forgiveness was not neccessarily for the person who hurt me but the act of forgiving was to set me free! It was to release me from the pent-up anger, that held me back in every area of my life, so I could continue in Christ’ love, joy and peace. God gave this command of forgiveness to the one who has been harmed so that he or she could be freed from holding grudges, anger, rage and even murderous thoughts in the heart which can stump your spiritual growth, fellowship with God and eventually cause physical and mental illness which can lead to death.
In reality, unforgiveness is placing yourself in a self-impossed prison, locking the door and giving the keys (control) over to the person whom you have this unforgiveness towards. At this point the person who has harmed or wronged you has become your Warden and has complete control over your life! It is also like taking a vial of poison, drinking it and expecting the person that harmed or hurt you to die. In reality the poison will begin to eat you up from the inside-out. It will affect your work, relationships, thought -life, spiritual growth and truly every faccett of your life.
So, what do you do now? Well, you have two choices. God has placed before you at this moment life and death, forgiveness and unforgiveness. The Lord strongly desires that you choose life! Life in this case is found through forgiveness. You may not feel like it, you may be angry and resentful. You may feel that you were the one wronged and the perpetrator should be asking for your forgiveness! I have been there and I know full-well those thoughts and feelings of anger and unfairness but I am telling you that you will not regret doing it. Just say the words out loud with that person or persons name at the end of the sentence, I forgive _______. Even if that person is dead you can still do this!
My cousin was found in this situation where the person that harmed her was deceased. I encouraged her to write that person a note listing all of her emotions towards him and then take the note either to the cemetary where he is buried, burn it or throw it into the river and say, I forgive you_______. Today my cousin is healing very well and stated that this was her turning point in life!
I will warn you that after you speak forgiveness toward the person who wronged you, you most likely will not have warm and fuzzy feelings for them. If you are like me or my cousin, it may take years to have positive feelings toward that individual. The truth is, you may never have friendly feelings for them. Forgiving someone does not mean that you will now be best buddies. I have found that in many cases it is not possible or even healthy for either of you to be around one another!
Listen, “forgiveness is not about feelings, it is about faith”! Faith in God and His Holy Word! It is trusting that our Creator knows how to heal His creation. Trust Him in this by speaking forgiveness towards that person and you will be set free. The Bible promises, “to whom the Son sets free, is free indeed.” Experience God’s promise of “peace and release” from that Self Imposed Prison by taking this “leap of faith!”
(I will share with you my personal experience of unforgiveness, how it was a crutch in my life for years, how fogiveness set me on a new path and finally how life exponentially changed for the better for me and those in my life! The next blog will be entitled, “Self Imposed Prisons”
Yours in His service,
Jeff
